My Testimony

I was 5 years old when the abuse started. By the time I turned 17, I had experienced abuse at the hands of 5 different men – most of whom were family members.

ONE WAS A PASTOR AT THE CHURCH I GREW UP IN.

I know full well the pain, shame, crossed-wires, confusion, anger (rage, actually) hurt, etc etc etc etc that is all too familiar to those who have been violated. But I can tell you, there is freedom. This is how and where I came to truly know God. This is how we were….introduced. At my greatest point of rage and pain.

Abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars. But it can leave a fingerprint on the soul. Abuse thrives in darkness and isolation. It demands secrecy. Therefore, one of the things the abusive must master is how to silence its victims. It studies them. Knows how to leverage power and control over them.

When I finally came to the point where I wanted to see if freedom and healing was even a possibility, the hardest part for me was breaking the silence.

I turned to the few trusted places I could. I asked a pastor what I should do. He told me I should do what Paul said, just “forget those things which are past.” (Which was foolish and a complete misapplication of that verse.)

I turned to a counselor (not faith-based), she told me the abuse would be who I am for the rest of my life. That I would just need to embrace it, and that as much as my hair was brown it would be a part of me. Which I guess, to a degree, is true. I never have forgotten it. But the truth I discovered in God was that what happened to me wasn’t and isn’t my identity. I could get to the point where the abuse no longer had any control over me. I didn’t have to continue walking around with vulnerable buttons or triggers that could be pushed. I no longer had to crumble in the moments when flashbacks, dates, certain smells, or certain memories reminded me….

Only the power and love of God can reach that deep to heal those areas.

If you find yourself needing to take steps towards freedom or healing…if any part of this short excerpt of my story connected with your past or your situation, I want to offer you a free resource available here on my website.

Completely free. No strings attached. Literally. You don’t even have to provide your name or email address. Just download it below. In this a short eBook I share the first three steps I took that were absolutely necessary in walking towards freedom.

From someone who’s been there. From someone who knows. From someone who went to the internet first searching for any proof that someone had made it safely to the other side – let me assure you…if you will let Him, God will take you gently by the hand and lead you. HE IS SAFE. He will heal your heart, restore your soul, and give you back so much more than what those years stole.

Just take the first step. He’s already there waiting for you.